Thursday, January 12, 2006

Faker

Hello. I am Tracy. Derrick has invited me to post and share some of my thoughts on his blog. First off, thank you to everyone for reading Derrick's blog. He enjoys posting and enjoys your comments. I wanted to share a profound concept that hit me a few months ago. I realized that I am a faker. Sometimes I find myself being nice to people and disregarding what I want in order to be a blessing on someone else. I did use the word "sometimes". During one of these occasions, I had this feeling that I was being fake. I was thinking that I am really not that nice or considerate. I am just a big fake. I then realized that yes, I am a fake, but it is okay. I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and have attempted to live according to how the Bible directs me. This would mean that I would need to try and be nice, considerate, forgiving, selfless, ect. Apart from Christ, I am selfish, demanding, controlling, rude, arrogant, ect. So, being a faker isn't all that bad because it means that I am at least trying, with God's help, to become a better person. Ponder this idea for a minute, and see if it applies to your life.


Thanks for reading,
Tracy Bright

13 comments:

Melissa said...

We are all fakers in some sense. On a daily basis I answer phones and greet clients and one of the most typical conversation pieces is "How are you doing?" and what do I always say, "Good". This does not mean that I am actually doing good, it is just a response that most of society expects to hear. The question and the answer are both courteous suggestions, rather than sincere thoughts. I do believe, however, that as long as one is honest with oneself and not faking who they are or what they are about, then one is a good person. One can be both honest and abide by societal standards and not be considered a faker. Be polite and couteous, but not an ass-kisser. Go for what you want, but don't lie to do it. Don't pretend to be best buds with your co-workers when personalities clash, but rather agree to have a productive working relationship. People know when one is faking. If they do not, then they too are typically faking. Let me give you an example, I will sometimes fake a half smile, but the laugh won't emerge. I will laugh only when something is funny to me, otherwise I tend to be almost unresponsive. Some would consider this rude, but I consider this honest. If I did laugh at something that I did not think was funny, then the laugh would be fake and done only to amuse the joke-teller, which would be faking. Again, a smile is polite, but a laugh is faking. Just something to think about.

Russ said...

A faker,hmmm. In the truest sense of the word, I am proud to be a faker. It depends upon the application of the word. I visit a 7 year old student at his home who is critically ill with leukemia. I also keep contact with a nine year ols boy with brain cancer which has gotten much worse. On each and every visit, these boys look forward to what I am bringing them this time.Me, paint on a happy and cheerful face that reflects to them that everything is going to be ok. This, when I am crying for them on the inside. After each visit when I drive home, I feel guilty for any time in my life I had felt sorry for myself. There is a certain humility that one has when seeing the suffering of others. Even still, none of that compares to how Jesus suffered for us. I will continue to visit these students and bring smiles, cheer, fun, and hope.I will play games with them, take them to In-n-Out on my Harley, and be the circus clown with the painted on perpetual smile with them. It's what they need of me as a visitor. It's what they expect. It makes them happy. Sometimes being a faker requires God's strength to continue being a faker.That's not so bad.

Tracy Bright said...

Melissa, I agree with you. I do think that it is important to be yourself. The problem comes when the way "yourself" is, is not helpful or considerate towards others. Sometimes I want to be really rude to people who bug me and tell them exactly that. But, I try my best to have what you called a "productive working relationship". So, no, you don't want to go overboard in your faking. But, if being yourself is going to hurt someone else, then maybe it is time to reconsider.

Tracy Bright said...

Russ (dad), you also make a good point. Even though you do not feel happy, you make an attempt to portray happiness for some kids who have enough hurt as it is. It is a similar concept.

Melissa said...

I agree with both of you. Dad, it is definitely more important to make those children happy and give them a positive environment then to worry about whether or not you are being real. The reality is that those children are sick, they are not faking it and their prescence alone, I feel negates any notion of faking. If you are "faking" with them, then you are being sincere because you care enough to put their feelings and situation before your own. Tracy, I agree with you when you say that "if being yourself is going to hurt someone else, then maybe it is time to reconsider". However, if you find yourself in more situations where you feel like you can't be yourself than where you can, then maybe your surroundings and your own personal views should be reconsidered. At least try to find the reasons for or the origin of your feelings. Please do not take this as rude or mean, it is just my honest opinion and me being me.

Anonymous said...

I think tracy is trying to say that "being herself" is what is the problem. I think this is an example of the "bad news" of being human, that our heart is wicked and deceitful.

The good news is that Jesus has changed her life and now her inborn humaness is covered through the work Jesus did by dying on the cross.

When we really get an honest and clear picture of how we can be, it can be very unflattering. Even much of our good deeds turn out to be selfish responses to those around us. If and when we are truly honest with ourselves.

just some thoughts.

Derrick Bright said...

This is pretty exciting. The first post ever for Tracy and she has many folks responding. That is exciting.

I wonder if part of the confusion is Tracy's use of the word "faker" because it seems that she IS coming from a different direction than what we may normally consider being a faker.

She is not ashamed at her understanding of being a faker, which is more than just being polite in social situations. It is doing things she wouldn't have done "before Christ" for different reasons. Not just self-serving, semi-selfish, nice-ities. But rather genuine selfless gestures and being a blessing or encouragement to others.

I would admit the same; that this truly selfless act happens only sometimes, and not because I (or she) am anything super special or gracious, but because of the work Jesus Christ has done in our lives.

I am encouraged to see my wife growing as woman of God. I am continually blessed by her.

Thanks for sharing,
Derrick

Helen said...

As Christians we need to be honest with ourselves, we will never be perfect but we come to Jesus each day and ask for His strength, I take the motto 'do your best and pray it's blessed!' with me, I mess up sometimes but thank God for his Grace that is new every morning!
good Blog guys, God Bless you both!
Helen in England.

Derrick Bright said...

Wow, from Englad. How cool. On behalf of my wife and I, we thank you for posting all the way from England. :-)

Derrick

Derrick Bright said...

I can spell. :-P

D.

Tracy Bright said...

I have to say...well put anonymous and derrick. That is exactly what I am trying to say. This does not mean, Melissa, that you do not make a good point in saying that we should reconsider our surroundings and why we cannot be ourselves. I feel that is the truth, and a sometimes harsh truth. However, I am talking less about being "polite" or "honest", and more about a complete life change. Anyone can fake a smile or fake laugh to make someone else feel better. But this is something different. For example, I recently took a pretty hard college class. I didn't struggle very much, but others did. I wanted to just go home and be with Derrick and get in my PJs. But I stayed at least an hour longer than I had to every week to help other people in the class. Sounds like a really nice deed, huh? Well, the "myself" before Christ would have just gone home and had the attitude that "they will figure it out" or "stinks for them". But because Christ is working in me, I stay and help and am content with it. My classmates would tell me how nice I was. That is when I felt like a faker in a good way. If I was being "myself", I would have gone home. But, instead I was able to bless others by not being myself and letting Christ work through me. That is what I mean when I say the word faker.

Tracy Bright said...

Thank you Helen for your comment. Your motto is very fitting.

Russ said...

Here is a quick update on the faker issue. My seven year old student must again have double chemotherapy and a spinal tap on Tuesday. He has a new shunt and chemo feeding tube that was placed in his chest. Mom left he and his baby sister in my care as she went to pick up her other daughter. My little buddy, Ivan, with all of his tubes and such, asked me if I was saved. I can't explain the feeling that came over me. Here, he was worried about me! How blessed we can be to learn from little children.