"One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget." Franklin P. Jones
Hmm. It is important to forgive, but do we or should we forget? When someone hurts us, it is important that a root of bitterness does not come up in our lives. But I am not sure it is wise to completely forget.
I could be wrong, but if we forget how someone hurt us, it could be like an abusive relationship, whether physical, sexual, emotional/verbal. If you forgive someone, I think it is wise to not put yourself in the same situation so you can avoid the same problems again.
Obviously, we don't want to hold it against someone, but that doesn't always ean you have to be best friends either. I think it is a little different if you are in a marriage relationship because your marriage is greater than the problems that may come with a few exceptions.
Interesting quote nonetheless. What do you think?
Derrick
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Since a sin is a sin is a sin, it makes no difference to me if someone hurt my feelings verbally or punched me in the nose. We are scripturally commanded to forgive. To define what "forget" means is where I feel true character kicks in. If you were very hurt or wronged by another, you probably will never actually forget it. Yet, you don't have to keep remembering it either. There are some things that one just should or even must let go of. To replay an event or events in your mind that were hurtful does not add to a healing process. Indeed, a healing process in some situations takes a lifetime. If we lean more towards love and turn away from bitterness, what a better person we would become. I believe that in a marriage it is no different. We all live in our own shoes and can not assume that we can totally understand what it may have been like to live in another's. Forgive and forget should begin with applying that to one's self first.If everybody truly forgave everyong that caused pain in their life, there would be no reason to worry about the forgetting aspect of it. After all, when we pass on the our rewerard, all is forgiven. This is a good practice to attemp on a daily basis while we are still here on earth.
First off, let me say I agree that it is very important to forgive and let go of the bitterness that someone causes us by whatever means. But I also think that because some things done to us cause more pain, and are more difficult to forgive illustrates that not all sin is the same.
Maybe it is just me, but I would have an easier time forgiving someone that stole my pencil than someone who tortures and kills my dogs on purpose.
I think the issue of a sin is a sin is a sin misses a very important distinction that I think you would have a hard time holding on to. Here is an exerpt from Greg Koukl that briefly addreses this"
The fact is, all sin is sin and you haven't really said anything profound when you say sin is sin. But what you imply is that all sin is equally offensive to God, and that is not true. That simply is not true. There are some sins that are more egregious than others. Jesus made the statement very clearly when He was speaking with Herod at the time of His crucifixion when He said, "The one who delivered me up to you has the greater sin."
Indeed, even common sense dictates this. That it is certainly more egregious, it's more morally weighty to take a person's life than it is to steal a pencil. In fact, if this wasn't the case you could never solve an ethical dilemma where you have two particular things that come in conflict with each other. When taken in isolation both would be wrong. Like whether you ought to obey the government or obey God in preaching the Gospel. Well, we are supposed to do both, but when they come into conflict we do the greater; we obey God and preach the Gospel, and we disobey the government. We can do that because we know that some things are more morally important than others. Common sense seems to dictate that, too.
So, Russ, I agree with the forgiveness issue, but I only agree and disagree to different qualifications of your sin is sin is sin comment. I hope you understand the distinction. Whaddayasay? Agree? Disagree?
Derrick
Absolutely, a person who steals my pencil will not unleash a response of any magnitude from me. Yet, If one tortures and kills my dog I may very well end up in prison for my response to that individual. When we are speaking of sin, of course there are different " human" responses. My comment reflected how God forgives any and all sin with the exact same sinners prayer that the pencil stealer or dog killer may say to give their life to The Lord with.
There is a very popular Evangalist, his name is Raul. He openly has spoked of his life before he gave his life to Christ. Dog torturers had nothing on him. This was a very bad man who did acts of horrible violence. In one instant, he was forgiven of each and every sin. In that sense, a sin is a sin. God makes no reference to what kinds of sin are forgiven when we give our life to Christ. All sins are forgiven.
This is our model and reference that we humans are given. If God can forgive any sin to allow us into His Kingdom, we need to follow that example the best that we can.
If a drunk driver kills a loved one, do we forgive and forget? Many times, neither. If a child is molested and now is angry as an adult about it, better to stay sane and forgive. The memory is a powerful force that uses internalization to protect us. Latent memory can be destructiove if we allow it to be that way. The replay may have been hidden for many years. To replay it makes no sense to me. Let it out, forgive, move on, and enjoy the blessings that surround us.
( One More Thought ).
The value of forgiveness and immediate absolution equates to the value of "forgetting". Forgetting is a loose word when used in this context. I once had a discussion with my cousin the pastor about this many years ago. He was huge on water baptism for one to be allowed into The Kingdon of Heaven. This hinged on being forgiven ans "washed", after giving your life to Christ. Well, what if one died before water baptism, yet after giving their life to Christ. Stranger things have happened. Those going down in a shipwreck or plane crash, fire, earthquake, etc. for example; are not quite in a position for a water baptism. Yet, he disagreed. My final thought ( at the time) on that matter was the thief on the cross. Still in human form, a man, Jesus told that thief that he was basicly absolved of his sins and would join Jesus in heaven. No sinners prayer, no baptism, just pure and absolute forgiveness. Jesus did not repeat what sins the thief had done. Did Jesus know of the sins and their magnitude, or did it not matter to him? A sin was a sin and a sinner was a sinner. Here is a thief on a cross. One recital of his sorrow for Jesus and the guy gets to heaven. That's not a bad deal. That same day when the thief dies, the previous sins are forgotten. What of his victims whose crimes to them got him on the cross to begin with? Do they forgive and forget? Right there, in front of Jesus on the cross, did Jesus expect these victims to retain any bitterness by a replay in their mind? Like I said, we do not always forget, nor are we expected to. The strength comes from not remembering in a sense of unhealthy or undisciplined recitals in our mind.
Russ, that sounds fair. The part where I disagreed was that Jesus made a statement that some men were guilty of a greater sin.
That does not mean that either man would not be forgiven IF they were repentant. I would take issue with the "sinner's prayer" because, I think, for some folks they use that as a cover-all in regards to their Christian state...well, I'm a Christian cause I prayed the prayer...Being a Christian is more than that.
No where in the Bible, that I am aware of, does someone become a believer by praying a prayer.
I can agree that not replaying an event in one's life is counterproductive, but the way I was trying to mention remembering is that a)you don't put yourself in a situation that something would not happen again (this obviously is tricky in many cases and has various degrees of what can reasonably be done)
and/or b) championing for the others who may have experienced a similar thing so it does not happen to another...or brings some sort of comfort (I'm thinking of MADD or other similar organizations.)
Also, I would assert that just because something is not remembered does not mean that it is not causing problems in someone's life. For example, my parents got divorced many years ago. I did not think about it, talk about it, remember it. Part of it, I think, was a protection for me growing up, but after going through counseling for, what I thought was an unrelated problem, I started to see that the divorce had greatly affected the way I was, the way I interacted with others. It was in the remembering that I was able to let it go and start the healing of that.
It would not be as likely to have happened had I not had to face it, see how it affected me, and move forward. Every once in a while I am reminded of it, but I do not remember it in any negative sense, but I think God uses it to remind me that I do not want that for my life and I need to be sure I am focusing on hoe He wants me to be as a godly husband.
True forgiveness, I think on the human side is not about forgetting, but perhaps occasionally remembering it in light of forgiveness and being sure Satan is not using it to get a foothold in my life. To not remember at all seems a form of denial, and if we deny that something happened, we cannot really forgive and be forgiven. Or so it would seem.
I have not done extensive Bible study on this, so I could easily be wrong and/or mistaken.
Thanks for the stimulating discussion.
Derrick
Derrick,
Well Said. I too have a past which by default caught up with me. Nothing of my making, but certainly something a child should never endure. So, consider this. How interesting it is that something so good can come from something so bad. My desire to work with children of special needs ( example: CampFire organization ). Lori and I fought for our own Charter after Camp Fire "insurance" regulations prohibited special needs kids. We won, got our Charter, and had a blast with that entire part of outr life. Now, I opted for teaching Special Education. Somehow this deeply engrained memory was assiting mt decision to help kids with the greatest need. It shows that ant situation can be handled by taking either the right or wrong way to amend it. This is quite profound. Good discussion!
Alas, I am still hung up on the Peeps. Indeed, I ate them. I also used them for the best trout bait that ever happened. In my day, there was Velvetta cheese or bottled fish eggs. Today, we have thousands of "sure fire" trout bait. AHHH, Nothing works like Peeps. Ten years in a tackle box and they are still as good as new.
You so crazy...
Derrick
That is why we have such a wonderful relationship. You know I am nuts and accept it....
Luv Ya, Dad
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