"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature." Dave Barry
How very true. Here's part of the problem as I see it. Many people think they are smart or, in this case, mature. Some really are, and some are merely thinking they are, but are not. Are too...Are not...are too...are not...Yeah ok...if you have to argue your point by this method, you are probably lacking some sort of maturity or your argument is not very strong. It's kind of a "Pee Wee Herman defense."
This kind of behavior is ok when you are in elementary school, but there comes a time when you must "put away childish ways" (1 Cor. 13:11). Age has little to no bearing on maturity. My wife is younger than I am but she is mature beyond her years.
There comes a time when we must grow folks, and let others grow up. What do you think?
Derrick
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7 comments:
I completely agree that age and maturity do not necessarily go hand in hand. This is something that I have fought with most of my life. I appreciate when that point is made.
I think a big part of maturity is your ability to communicate with others, like you were saying, Derrick. If you cannot properly express yourself to others, you are not going to seem very mature. By express yourself, I mean telling someone your needs or discussing some conflict you are having with another person. Social skills, awareness of others, personal goals, work ethic, attitude, and communication skills are all a part of maturity. If you are 18, 19, or 20 years old and still ask your mom to settle your conflicts for you, then you're going to have difficulties in many aspects of your life.
I think that one of the best ways to help people mature is to let them do it themselves. Personally, I really started "feeling" like an adult when I started having to do things on my own. This does not mean that I didn't have support. But, being completely responsible for the failure or success of more and more things in my life allowed me to be a confident adult and gain more maturity.
This is a tough one to comment on. Maturity is not based on any one or two definitions. I do agree with Tracy that one should not be asking mommy to settle differences when you are 20 years old. There is a distinct difference between the definition of maturity and immaturity.
Personally, I KNOW that I am seen as not a mature person in some circles. In as much, I really don't give a hoot. Why? I like things and activities that are many times reserved for kids only. I don't fit the "mold" of a "mature adult". Dang, I know that. I have always worked hard to support my family ( many times under trying conditions), I earned my degrees with the support of my most excellent wife and family, and I am not ashamed to say that Neverending Story is my favorite film. Maturity is simple. Age is not a factor at all. We are expected as children to accomplish certain maturity goals. I work with special needs kids. I've got their back, baby. I don't let anyone attack them about "expected" maturity. Nor, do I allow anyone to attack mine. Being mature means being responsible. Sometimes we do share conflicts or problems with others as a way to vent. Maybe not mature? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Stress and conflict in our lives sometimes requires assistance from loved ones. It may not seem appropriate at the time to many, but to the one who is hurting, assistance comes from loving sources.I am as moature as I care toi be. As long as I am a responsible adult, nobody has the right to judge me.
I agree, that we should always be willing to grow and change and mature. I have had to learn the very hard way on how to communicate, cause alot of my life there was no one to communicate with and no one to offer communication to me. If there was communication, it was in the form of a joke, sarcasim, screaming, cussing, stop blaming me, racism ,ignoring, or excuses are like A-holes everybody has one. I have watched people and listened to, and have read. I know how i don't want to communicate. And i am trying very hard to be able to communicate better. Some people do try to change and some feel comfortable where they are and are not willing to open up. Some people just talk about surface stuff and not reality. There will always be things that we all have to work through, throughout life, it is continual. I don't want someone holding a grudge against me and i have no idea what it is about. Please i'd rather know and lets move on. Life is too short. I do know people that hang onto things for years. I'ts sad cause they can't move forward and be truly happy. We are'nt always going to completely agree with each other but we can open up to each other without feeling persecuted. I hope i am not rambling. I have learned to forgive, and that alone has made a big inpact on my life. It is continual, there will always be little things that bug. We do have a right be get angry but not continually angry. Well i'll go for now. God Bless and Derrick i enjoy what you put on your site. I know i don't always make a comment. I Love you and am proud of you. Luff, your momma
Russ said:
This is a tough one to comment on. Maturity is not based on any one or two definitions.
That may be true, but that is where context helps. In context, the point I was trying to make was a maturity in relationships. And this is also in relation to a continued stunting of growth in this area.
Personally, I KNOW that I am seen as not a mature person in some circles. In as much, I really don't give a hoot. Why? I like things and activities that are many times reserved for kids only. I don't fit the "mold" of a "mature adult". Dang, I know that
I have always worked hard to support my family ( many times under trying conditions), I earned my degrees with the support of my most excellent wife and family, and I am not ashamed to say that Neverending Story is my favorite film.
I think this illuminates the point I was trying to make (or at least the one I had in my head).
Also if you were to only play with child activites, you would not be considered a mature adult, but because you took care of your family and can fix boats, and such you also be considered mature.
If you neglected your family or did not make an effort (and communication takes a conscious effort)to communicate effectively (or at least grow in this area), that would be the negative immaturity I have in mind.
I, of course, do not think it a bad thing to be silly and childlike (and I don't think the Bible evens suggests that-if you read the Corinthians verse in context). My distinction is that there are times for immaturity and there are times to grow up. And I would think that most times, we are called to be grown up. That's what makes the silly times so fun...
Maturity is simple. Age is not a factor at all. We are expected as children to accomplish certain maturity goals. I work with special needs kids. I've got their back, baby. I don't let anyone attack them about "expected" maturity.
This goes without saying. However, we cannot establish principles of how to live by the exception.
Nor, do I allow anyone to attack mine. Being mature means being responsible...I am as moature as I care toi be. As long as I am a responsible adult, nobody has the right to judge me.
Now here's where I must take exception. Some people (and perhaps not you) use two of the things you said here as an excuse to stay stagnant and not growing, and I think, as a person who trusts in Christ for one's salvation, we are expected to be sanctified (the life-process of growth-spiritually, et al..).
Number 1). "I am as mature (nice, loving, fill in adj.)as I care to be." this side of heaven, there is always room for improvement and I am highly suspect of folks who say they are fine the way they are and "there-is-nothing-anyone-can-do-to-change-my-mind". I do not think this is being intellectually open to new ideas.
I am not necessarily saying this is true for you, but I have seen it happen. Just something to watch out for.
Number 2). "nobody has a right to judge me". This often just seems to rub me the wrong way. If someone claims to be a Christian and they say or do something that does not seem to line up with Scripture, that person has been born into a family that is there to hold them accountable.
Christianity may be personal (that is, we may have a personal relationship with God), but it is also a very public faith. We are called not to just be average, but to "be excellent at what is good."
Now, to be clear, these are not things I have mastered and I could be way off on this. Also, I am certain this came out more forceful than m intention, so I ask that you take this with a grain of salt, for what it is worth, the good and the bad...Anyway, that is all for now.
Also, a shout out to my Beloved, and my mom for also sharing their views.
Derrick
As long as I am doing what is right, nobody has the right to judge me. What is accountable to some Christians is of no consequence to others. I have had Christians lambast me for not attending church each and every week. Scripture "tells" them that I should be doing so. God tells me another. You have to listen to God as he speaks to you. One should never assume to discern how God speaks to each of us. This indeed, if we are being faithful and doing well in Gods eyes. In as much, judging others for how God spoke to them is blasphemy. Indeed, a human is but a human.
Im a toys r us kid still
Jonelle
I'm a toys r us kid still too!! I can't wait to have kids so I can play with their toys.
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