Here are some reflections from a sometimes tired new father. It has been just over three weeks since our baby was born. What a tremendous experience. Quite amazing, to be sure. I was there watching my amazing Beloved push out our firstborn child. It is diffuclt to explain and I can't be sure all that was going through my mind.Once my Beloved saw her, she started to cry. Not tears of sadness, of course, but of Joy obviously. I did not cry as I thought I might, but I did a little. The whole labor and delivery went rather smoothly. My wife is incredible.
Anyway, the biggest adjustment, right now, is the less sleep, though I am not complaining since my Beloved gets more broken sleep than me-she has to feed her. She has been amazing, btw.
It has also been interesting with visitors. Now, to preserve the relationships with the visitors who may read this, I am speaking in general terms...don't take it personal. We are not big visitor people for the most part. We are very low-key and just kind of keep to ourselves, as a rule. We really just like each other and like to hang out with each other. Some may characterize that as anti-social, but oh well. It is just how we are at this time of our lives.
Anyway, it has been a challenge trying to balance having visitors and having "our family time". Having people over has not necessarily been a problem, except for when either has had a rough night or day. Another challenge has been trying to create a routine for our young one. There are certain things we are wanting to acomplish with how we are raising her. Even at this early age.
For example, we want her to be able to sleep on her own and learn to calm herslf to sleep. To do that we have to hold her less and encourage others to do that as well, respecting us as the parents. Trust me, it is hard to not want to hold her, cause she is stinking cute...But we want to limit the bad sleeping habits early so there is less work for us in the future.
Prevention is way better than trying to fix things after they are "broken". Sure, we will have to fix many things, because we will make many mistakes along the way, but sleep is one area we do not want to fix. We want to train her early, because we love sleep. And we want her to love it as well.
All that to say we are enjoying the process. There are tough days, (more than I will admit.) And there are good days (most of them). Some extra challenges that have arisen and will continue: Raising her in the love and fear of the Lord, balancing the training for immediate versus delayed gratification (hers and ours), becoming more assertive towards others who are not treating our child as we want her to be treated and establishing new boundaries in our lives.
I have talked far too much. Thank you all for the support, encouragement, and gifts throughout this whole experience.
Derrick
Update: I agree with what Tracy said in the comment section: We do enjoy our space AND we enjoy our visitors. So, please give us a call first and we'd love to see you-those that know us, not strangers. :-)
4 comments:
Yes, it has been a hard adjustment for us. However, we appreciate all of the love and support from everyone in our life. It is not that we do not want visitors....because we want to share our little blessing with others. It has just felt a little overwhelming at times trying to get to know a new person (Alyssa) and having friends and family visit. Most have been understanding of our need for a little space and time. We want our baby to have relationships with our friends and family. It has just been a little hard for us because we are low-key people.
You have certainly been most gracious with our wanting to visit and see the new family. We also appreciate the need for a new family to have time to be a new family :-). Pops and Grammie are grandparents who want to be what we feel grandparents should be. That would be to respect and honor guidelines you set for your children, never give advice unless asked to do so, and be the kind of grandparents you look forward to visiting. Grammie and Pops want to be just that, Grammie and Pops. You already have shown you are awesome parents with an awesome daughter. You Rock :-)
Thanks.
Derrick
Grammie and Pops have been respectful of our space. You have called before visiting and been understanding when we asked you to wait a few more days to visit. I appreciate that because I know that you probably want to come visit every day. :-). I understand. But, thanks.
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