A Difficult Teaching

The divorce rate among Christians and non-Christians is said to be approximately 50% each: so about half the marital couples from each group break up. This is peculiar because many people in life initially embrace the idea of getting married, especially after they finish college and feel like settling down in life. Other people might feel compelled to marry according to the apostle Paul’s counsel to single people in 1 Corinthians 7. Still other people eventually want to resume dating after a divorce, the end of the matter often being a subsequent marriage to someone else.

So let’s assume that you are a single, late-blooming 30-year-old who is looking to date or to court (or whatever), all in the expectation of finding someone to settle down with. If you start looking for compatible single persons of the opposite sex, you will probably want to look for people who are within your age group or at least have the beginnings of their life-long career under their belt. Therein lies the problem: the pool of single people in your age group contains a number of divorcees, a number which will only increase as time progresses and your age increases.

Okay, so how is that a problem? It is a problem according to the teachings of Christ. It is written:

31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Matthew 5.27-32)

Again:

1 And he arose from thence, and cometh into the coasts of Judaea by the farther side of Jordan: and the people resort unto him again; and, as he was wont, he taught them again. 2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away [his] wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put [her] away. 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same [matter]. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mark 10.1-12)

This means that you would be doing some divorcees a favor not to marry them, lest your marrying this person turn him or her into an adulterer. It also means that the pool of available singles of your age group should be considered smaller than most people in this world would recognize. So now you have two options: either to start looking beyond your age group or not to marry at all. Both options are themselves problematic, an assessment with which the early apostles might have agreed:

3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? 4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made [them] at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 10 His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with [his] wife, it is not good to marry. 11 But he said unto them, All [men] cannot receive this saying, save [they] to whom it is given. 12 For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from [their] mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive [it], let him receive [it]. (Matthew 19.3-12)

So there you have it: a difficult teaching.

By the way, how is it that not only are a man and his wife one flesh but also that a man and his wife are no longer two (Mt 19.6, Mk 10.8) though they certainly appear to be two in number? Could this be a question worth investigating in a future post?