iMonk on Evangelical Media

As it is with many things, I do not always agree with some of the conclusions of or the spiciness the Internet Monk has stated, I can sympathize with his observations on Evangelicalism and its propensity for Jesus junk. It is worth just the first few paragraphs.

I think Jan Crouch's hair is the darnest thing since the Tower of Babel. I think Benny Hinn is sincere, but probably unstable. I think T.D. Jakes is preaching gnosticism. TBN in general convinces me television is utterly incompatible with Christianity. Most Contemporary Christian music makes me wish I was wandering in the Antarctic wastes. A tour through the Christian fiction section of my local Christian bookseller reveals enough mediocrity to fill a small country. Christian radio, for the most part, makes NPR look downright intelligent. Evangelical cinema is bad- just plain bad. The best Christian movie ever made- Chariots of Fire- was produced by a Muslim.

Yep, those are my opinions, and as my dad used to say, all of them and fifty cents will get you a cup of coffee. These are my evangelical brethren, and in general, I think their product stinks. I know billions of evangelicals love this stuff, and always will. Evangelicals will soon be building amusement parks, world-wide satellite systems, movie studios and publishing conglomerates. But if the past is a predictor of the future, we'll just be swimming in an ocean of tacky.

...I think Christians should freely express their criticisms of the mediocrity and distortion that emerges from the evangelical ghetto, and not be the least ashamed to do so. If we critique ourselves, that only speaks more to our confidence in the truth. It also shows (surprise) humility to acknowledge none of us are beyond criticism. It is a general observation of mine that Christians are woefully afraid of engaging in criticism of their own sub-culture as if that meant they were criticizing Jesus. Believe me, Jesus did not come up with all that Y2K nonsense. Or the script for the Omega Code.

Congratulations and Here's Your Sign

Celebrities are weird. Stop naming your kids strange names. This does not help them in life.

Congrats to Gwen and Gavin! The rockstar couple gave birth to their second child yesterday--and it ain't no holla-back girl. Both mom and son are doing fine. But the burning question is when you already have one kid named Kingston, do you try to top it or go with something more traditional for baby No. 2? Drum roll, please! His name is...Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale.

I suppose it is better than Peanut.

6 Legged Deer is Okay After Attack

Pretty crazy picture as well. Story and picture here.

Mandles For Real?

Wow! I thought I was dreaming when I saw this. I am not even sure if it is real. I think it is. Mostly because they don't have Chuck Norris Sweat flavored candles.

Check it out.

Derrick

For My Beloved

She actually cannot stand these freakish monstrosities, but I think they are still weird, but I can't help but look.

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!

New Yorker Cover

Little Green Footballs had this post about the New Yorker magazine's cover of Barack Obama. The good thing is that this was not done by a conservative magazine. If it were we would be hearing about this everywhere. Some suggest that Obama is thin skinned and has less and less of a sense of humor.

It seems like that is true because we see the kid gloves that the media has toward him. The media's bias is simply ridiculous. If y'all remember Dan Quayle several years ago. He misspelled potato and was completely ridiculed. Obama is often saying things that make Quayle's gaffe look like child's play.

Semi off topic: I shared with my Beloved a top five things list that you didn't know about the candidates by NBC's Today Show. Some of the things you didn't know about Obama had to do with food, and how he likes his daughters and the like. McCain's had more to do with mostly bad things like his policy issues that they disagreed with. It was sick.

Here's an article that discusses the problem of making fun of Obama. Making fun of McCain is ok. But not for Obama.

When Mr. Stewart on “The Daily Show” recently tried to joke about Mr. Obama changing his position on campaign financing, for instance, he met with such obvious resistance from the audience, he said, “You know, you’re allowed to laugh at him.”

It does seem like it is okay for the Mainstream Media (MSM) to bash the President or talk about how old McCain is, but that Obama sure has charisma and seems nice.

Derrick

Store Tells Mom Baby's Bottom is Pornography

I think this store is overreacting a little. If the person is selling pics of their baby's bottom for money to sleasy people, then yeah. But in most cases , it is just cute; almost a rite of passage. In addition, I doubt most folks have felt victimized by their parents sharing a cute baby's bottom picture with others. Embarassing? Yes. Victimized as pornography? Unlikly. I could be mistaken. What do you think?

Derrick

A New Champion Arises.

The World's Ugliest Dog competition happened a few weeks ago. A new winner, Gus, was announced. This is one ooogly dog.


However, he is no match for the former champion, RIP dear Sam. We sure miss you.

Mandles

This is a funny clip (2:02) on gettin gthe man in your life the perfect gift alternative to girly girl candles (thought I personally like some of them)

I think some of my favorite scents is "Chuck Norris Sweat", "Bowling Alley" and "Fear".

Enjoy,
Derrick

Man Babies

This is a creepy/wacky/awesome site. It takes babies heads and switches them with the daddy's and creates some funny/silly/creepy pics. Here are a few. Check the link for more. OK, I admit, they freaking awesome!!

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com!<

GET MORE AT ManBabies.com


GET MORE AT ManBabies.com>

Hugs, Not Drugs

Last week, I went to the funeral of my Uncle Les. While there I saw family I had not seen in forever. It had been so long, I did not actually remember many of them. They would say, "The last time I saw you, you were this high..." I would smile awkwardly and try and pretend-ish that I remembered them. But I am not always good at hiding those things.

I did notice one thing about most of the people I came in contact with: they know how to hug. Here is what I mean. It didn't matter that I didn't really know who these people were except that they were family. It was a good solid embrace.

Now, I am unashamed to say I like a good hug, even from a man. I just do. Maybe it is because I was hug-deprived growing up, maybe it was because I went to churches where they are not afraid of a little human contact, maybe it is because I don't care for the hugs that make me think I have an infectious disease. Here are a few types I have experienced.

Types of hugs:

1) Full on squeeze-the-breath-from-you-and-crush-your-sternum hug. Better than no hug. But bearly...sorry, couldn't help myself

2) A good solid embrace. I don't even have a name. This is usually found in families-definitely at my uncle's funeral, and a big section of the other side of my family, good friends, and some churches. This is the purest hug; nothing sexual, or awkward. It says I love and/or care for you. My wife gives a good one of these. I also enjoy my dad's and my pastor's hugs. This is the one where you feel secure and safe and loved. This is the perfect hug, in my opinion.

3) The kiss-on-the-cheek-and-continue-in-for-the-hug hug. These are nice but they can be borderline awkward if you haven't done this with the person before. Mostly because you could be unsure which direction to go, and which part of the face to kiss. I have mistakenly kissed the side of someone's nose, mouth, ear, and eye. Is it really the thought that counts? :-) These can range from pleasant and heartfelt to comical or obligatory.

You sometimes see these from the "rich" folks who know human contact is good, but they are not really interested in a whole lot of contact or intimacy. (By intimacy, I mean the deeper relationship where you can talk, trust and feel freely) Which is why conversation with these folks is almost always limited to weather, jobs and other minutae.

4) The one-is-committed-to-the-hug-but-the-other-is-not hug. This hug has several variations each with their own unique message.

A) uncomfortable man hug - This is a generic one for men who do not like to hug other men. The message here is that I am not comfortable hugging you, so I will try to shift the hug to something else, but which often ends up making the hug more uncomfortable or awkward than a simple handshake.

B) The handshake/forearm grab or handshake/shoulder grab: to to keep the other at a comfortable distance thus saying "I like you, but not too much."

C) It can also include the more committed, but still uncomfortable-with-hugs variation which is the half handshake-half hug. This is usually accompanied by the quick one-armed embrace that is quickly over. This is usually seen only in casual friends

D) Sometimes you will even see the very uncomfortable committment to hug with either an "embrace" with the short tap (or pat) of the hand or even just the fingetips in order to greatly minimize the human contact. This also may be seen with a hugging of the top of your shoulder in order to keep you at arm's length. I like to call this one the infectious disease hug.

This is because you feel like you have a communicable disease that may come off if you spend too much time with me. This one says, "I think you have an infectious disease and I don't really expect to see you much longer anyway, but since it is tradition to hug you, I will do so with great reluctance. " There is little intimacy or trust in this relationship. Should not be used on family or friends, unless they have a higly infectious disease.

E) The fake-out-screen-to-the-shoulder-hug-maneuver. This is the way for women to not be front hugged from the creepy guy that seems to like you that still insists on hugging you, but you are too nice to say anything. The important part in this manuever is that the creeped-out person must initiate the side hug. This is a pre-emptive strike.

As you can see, there are many ways to hug. Each has their own message, whether you realize it or not. Of course, my messages are purely subjecive and are subject to criticism and self-delusion. But I would love to hear about your different hugs, if I left one out. Or even your imput on the message a hug might give. Go out and hug someone.

Watch Your Back

Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean you're not being watched.

Have a good day. :-)

Christmas DysFUNction

Just getting through all the holiday things, known as family get-togethers. I don't know about you, but I struggle with those at times. I have a hard time mostly because it is often a time of trying to create a balance of being real and being superficial. And nice and superficial usually wins out. And I think it has its place, but I struggle with this.

Families usually swing between saying whatever is on their minds without any filter for what they are saying to being just an act, where no one is who they really are for fear of hurting someone's feelings, to anywhere in between. Where does your family fit on the spectrum? I will have to plead the fifth on this one for fear of upsetting anyone. :-) Ahh, we put the FUN in dysFUNction. Ha ha ha.

I usually am fairly quiet at most of these events because I have the social skills of a brick, unless...UNLESS...I am comfortable around you. Most folks see me as reserved and quiet and contemplative. That is all part of my plan. And I am, but if I am comfortable, I tend to also be a goofball.

Speaking of goofball, I just ran across a post on an old Saturday Night Live skit called the Dysfunctional Family Christmas- aired Dec. 15, 1990.

Here is the scene: The family is played by Phil Hartman (Dad), Dana Carvey (Son #1), Mike Myers (Son #2), Jan Hooks (Mom), Victoria Jackson (Daughter #1), and Julia Sweeney (Daughter #2).

The sketch opens on an album cover of the famous painting The Scream, wearing a Christmas Hat. The shot then fades onto a typical American family, but what they sing is anything but typical.

Song:

Let's Pretend We Like Each Other (This Christmas), sung by Dad.

"Christmastime, you force a smile

Everyone is joining in the group denial

Folks behaving infantile

Family Christmastime."

Here's another song:

The Almost Perfect Christmas, sung by the entire group.

Female Chorus: Dinner is perfect, the presents are perfect.

The tree and the parlors are perfect fun.

Male Chorus: Then your brother, yells at your mother.

All: Christmas is ruined for everyone!

Song:

The Daughter Song, sung by Mom and both Daughters.

"Presents and wrapping paper

Ribbons and bows and all that stuff.

Why do we even bother?

Nothing we get you is good enough!"

Song: Ballad of the Co-Dependent, sung by Dad.

"Every Christmas when you got drunk

I told the children you were not drunk.

And I said, "Tommy, you're not being bad,

It's just Christmas makes your Mommy mad."

Song: Why Am I Here? (The 'Pretty' Song), sung by Mom to Daughter #2

"Underneath the mistletoe

Is a 2x2 jingle bell world.

And underneath all those extra pounds

is a very pretty girl."

Song: Carol of Intimacy, sung by a very high-strung Son #1 (in a style only Dana Carvey could perfect)

"Leave me alone! Please go away!

I'm doing fine! Just get away!

"Leave me alone! Please go away!

I'm doing fine! Just get away!

Leave me alone! Please go away!

I'm doing fine! Just get away!"

Some of the other hits after dysfunctional hits include,

--"Someday I'll Get Christmas Right,

--"I've Got My Drinking Under Control For The Holidays,

--"Peace On Earth? Where?

--"Cant' You Let It Drop, It's Christmas",

--"What I Want You Can't Buy Me",

--"Fruitcake And Shame", and

--"Why Am I The Only One Who Knows What Christmas Really Means?

"Now, go give your mom a hug, your family can't be a dysfunctional as this one is!

Hope your Christmas was a good one.

Derrick

Mr. Whipple has Died

Some of you may be too young to remember this cultural icon of the toilet paper industry, but Mr. Whipple, "Don't squeeze the Charmin", has died. I want you to know I have exhibited great restraint and avoided any jokes about the content.

Anyway, I liked him better than the current toilet paper waving cartoon bears.

Derrick

Slender Santa

Here is an interesting link here and here to the story about Santa's in Britain needing to lose weight.

"Santa needs to set a “good example” for kids, say store owners."

Yeah, like breaking into houses and eating someone's cookies is a good example. I sure don't remember growing up learning about Santa and going, "man, I'd sure love to be fat just like him." though it would be nice to have something else to blame instead of laziness, thyroid, genes, hanging around other fat folks, or my own irresponsible eating habits and lack of exercise...or whatever other reasons.

I highly doubt people are overweight because of good ol' St, Nick.

To borrow John Stossel's line..."Give Me a Break!

Deep Thoughts

The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw. Jack Handy

Lips Must End

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end." Jerry Seinfeld